


This Fuckin' Guy

by TheseusInTheMaze



Series: This Fuckin' Guy [1]
Category: Good Game - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Blow Job, Conflict, Drug Use, Dry Orgasm, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Pining, Safer Sex, Unrequited Love, alcoholic character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 08:00:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14039757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Alex runs into someone while getting drunk, and decides to test a few things.





	This Fuckin' Guy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fallenandscatteredpetals](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallenandscatteredpetals/gifts).



> Edited by Angel!

Alex sat by himself at a bar, and he did shots.

That was a nice sentence, wasn't it?

It had a verb and everything - Alex was doing a thing, Alex was being proactive.

Right now, Alex was being proactive about getting so drunk that he didn't care about anything.

That would, admittedly, take a good deal of alcohol - Alex's caring seemed to go _up_ when he was drunk, but there had to be a point when he stopped caring, right?

He looked down at the shots lined up in front of him, and he did them, one after another after another after another.

He was going to get so drunk that he'd forget what he saw.

Ash and Ryland, making out on the couch.

On _his_ bed.

Ryland had his own fucking bed, but he had to make out with his... whatever the fuck Ash was to Ryland, he had to do it where Alex slept, and now Alex would go to bed and it would probably smell like Ash. 

He didn't want to know what Ash smelled like, unless maybe she was coming on to him, and he knew she'd never do that.

So he was stuck here, by himself, drinking shot after shot after shot. 

The bar stool was starting to undulate under him, and he was going to need to piss like a racehorse, but that wasn't a thing he had to deal with right now. 

Ryland always showered before he saw Ash - sometimes his first shower for a few days.

Alex was in love with Ryland even when Ryland smelled bad from farting and eating too many cheeseburgers in one go, and yet Ash was getting to be the one who made out with Ryland.

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't fair that Ash got to hold Ryland, got to get Ryland's sweet looks, while Alex got to sit up with Ryland, as Ryland agonized over texts he sent to Ash and went into one of his dark moods.

It wasn't fair that Alex was the one who had to deal with all of the gross shit that Ryland did - farting and belching and moodiness and all of the other shit that was just... unpleasant to be around. 

And now Ryland was probably fucking on the couch, while Alex drank by himself.

It wasn't even as if Ryland didn't drink - he had a beer, now and then - but he wasn't willing to go to Alex's favorite bar. 

Ryland wasn't willing to do much for Alex, when it came down to it, and Alex needed to get better at being okay with that.

He needed to be okay with not getting what he wanted, because you never get what you need in life if you just... avoid it.

What would it even feel like, to be held by Ryland?

And it wasn't like Alex was gay or anything.

He didn't want to fuck any dude, he just wanted to fuck Ryland.

Be fucked by Ryland?

Hell, he'd get on his knees and blow Ryland, if Ryland even suggested it.

... maybe he just had some gay tendencies, and he needed a chance to work them out.

But how was that even going to work?

Maybe he was in love with Ryland because he spent more time with Ryland than anyone else.

Maybe he just needed to make some friends.

... how did he even do that?

There was a guy sitting at the bar with him, nursing a bottle of beer. 

He had curly reddish brown hair, and a round face. 

He was staring into the middle distance, as one does when drinking, eyeing the labels of the drinks behind the bar.

"Hey dude," said Alex, and he was blinking owlishly at the guy.

The guy blinked out of his trance, looking over at Alex.

"Hm?"

"Yeah, you. With the face."

This struck Alex as the funniest shit ever, and he just... cackled to himself, sitting on the bar stool, trying not to fall off of it.

The guy looked slightly nonplussed. 

Could you be non-minused?

That brought on another peal of laughter, and Alex was pounding on the bar with his fist, panting as he tried to catch his breath. 

"Are you alright, dude?"

The guy with the ginger hair was shooting Alex a concerned look. 

"Yeah," Alex wheezed, and he was aware of how red his face was. "Sorry, my train of thought kind of derailed."

"Where there a lot of casualties?"

The guy had such a serious look on his face that it sent Alex on another burst of cackling, curling forward, panting, and the guy actually scooted closer, so that he was sitting right next to Alex.

Probably violating some kind of guy code, but fuck it.

What did Alex know of the guy code?

According to the guy code as far as Alex knew it, you didn't make out with your girlfriend on your friend's bed.

... was Ash Ryland's girlfriend?

No way. 

... right?

Ash was nice enough, but Ash was kinda obviously an alcoholic, and Ryland would know better than that, right?

... admittedly, Alex was also an alcoholic, but he... handled it better.

Maybe Ryland preferred female alcoholics. 

Maybe if Alex was a chick, Ryland would be all over him.

"Hey dude," said Alex, and he was clinging to the bar. 

"Mmm?"

The guy had big green eyes, and was looking at Alex sidelong, as if he was worried that Alex might bite him.

"If you got a fuckin'... guarantee that someone was gonna... was gonna love you, if you got a sex change, would you do it?"

The guy looked slightly panicked, but he kept up the steady eye contact.

"I mean," the guy said slowly. "Um."

"Um?"

"I'm gay," the guy said, and he was only blushing a little bit, "so... anyone who I'd be interested in, in the first place, if I wanted to have a chance with them, they'd be okay with me in the first place."

"Oh," said Alex, and he deflated. "How'd you figure out you were gay?"

He signaled for more shots, and the guy watched him, wide eyed, as he did the whole line of shots. 

The alcohol burned down Alex's throat.

"Excuse me?"

"Well," said Alex, and he leaned super close, so that they were almost nose to nose. 

The guy's nose wrinkled, no doubt from the smell of Alex's breath. 

"You see," Alex said, and he was clutching the bar harder now, "you _see_ , I think I'm in love with someone. But I think it may be because... you know, he's perfect. He's wonderful and perfect, but he doesn't see it. And I try to make him see it. I try so hard, like... holy fuck."

He clutched at the guy's shirt, and the guy gave Alex a nervous pat on the hand. 

"But, like... okay. Like... I like the guy a lot. Not you. You're also the guy."

"Leon," the guy said. "My name is Leon."

"Right. So you're Leon. I'm Alex. But this guy... this fuckin' guy... he's got a smile that'd fucking break your heart, he's so beautiful, he's so funny, and I'm like... I think I'm in love with him. I think that... I think that I'd wanna, like... do shit with him. Gay shit. How do you decide that you want to do gay shit?"

"Well," Leon said, and he looked like he wanted to be literally anywhere that wasn't here, "part of it is... you know, having physical desires. Having fantasies."

"So me having fantasies about this fuckin' guy, it could be a sign that I'm gay? Or only gay for one dude?"

"Possibly," said Leon. "I don't... really know how your brain works."

"I don't either, so it is _all_ good," slurred Alex, and he was grinning, a lot wider than he probably should have. "Hey, Leon. Do you... do you often pick up strangers at bars?"

"I wasn't aware that I was picking you up," said Leon, and he looked kind of uncomfortable. 

"Is it true that gay guys all want to fuck straight guys?"

"I mean," said Leon, "I don't want to."

"No? Why not?"

"Would you want to have sex with someone who wasn't attracted to you?"

Alex sagged against the bar, and he was closing his eyes, as his stomach heaved and the bar spun around him. 

"You know," Alex said, "I never thought of it like that."

"That's how a lot of it is, yeah," said Leon, and he took a swig of his beer, putting it on the bar with a satisfying kind of "thunk."

Alex had read a Stephen King novel once - one in that weird series, with the cowboy and the rose and the self insert stuff - and there had been a noise like that, described as the thump of a fist on a coffin.

"Stephen King has a thing for coffins," Alex told Leon, his tone solemn.

Leon blinked, no doubt experiencing some form of conversational whiplash.

"Does he now?"

"Oh yeah," said Alex. "It was a weird simile."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah," said Alex, and he was wobbling.

"Are you gonna be okay to get home?"

Leon looked worried.

"Do you wanna come home with me?"

... where had that come from?

Leon, was, admittedy, kind of cute in a girl kinda way.

Round face, wide hips, long eyelashes. 

He was pretty, and Alex could see himself kissing him.

Admittedly, as drunk and lonely as Alex was, he could probably kiss just about anyone.

But Leon didn't need to know that, did he?

"Excuse me?"

Leon was blushing.

"With me. Come home with me. I'll... I'll rock your fuckin' world, man."

The idea was becoming more and more appealing - if Ryland was allowed to make out with Ash on the couch, why couldn't Alex bring his own conquest home with him?

Did this Leon dude even count as a conquest, if he was looking so much like a scared rabbit? 

"I... I mean, um," said Leon.

"You can walk me home," Alex offered. "If you're up for it. If you wanna."

Leon gave Alex half a smile, and there was something wistful about it. 

"I mean," Leon said, "It's not like I'm doing much of anything else."

"What were your original plans for tonight?"

"I didn't really have any," said Leon. 

"Right," said Alex. "You can walk me home. Get some exercise in the... fresh air."

"As fresh as the air can get around here, at any rate," Leon said, his expression sardonic, and it was one of the first things that had come out of Leon's mouth that weren't anxious, which made Alex whoop with laughter.

Leon looked a tad worried, but Alex just paid his tab, and stood up.

He staggered two steps to the left, and then he was making his way towards the bathroom, because his back teeth were floating.

* * *

Alex pissed for an age in the bathroom, and then he stood there, in the single occupancy restroom, and he stared into the middle distance, trying to make sense of his own thoughts.

What even _were_ his own thoughts?

Was he a creature that was his thoughts?

Or were his thoughts simply things that existed independent of him, and if he weren't here, someone else would be having them?

Would they still be "his" thoughts, if it worked like that?

There was a knock on the door, and then Leon's voice.

"Alex? Are you okay?"

Alex was jerked out of his reverie - he flushed, washed his hands, put away his cock, then opened the door.

Leon was standing there, looking worried, and Alex reached out with one damp hand, pulling Leon in with him. 

Leon looked at him, wide eyed.

He was more than a head shorter than Alex, and he looked genuinely nervous. 

Alex leaned down, impulsively, and he kissed Leon on the mouth.

Leon made a surprised noise, pulling back. 

"What was that for?"

"You're cute," said Alex, which was mostly true.

Leon wasn't Ryland, but... nobody was Ryland but Ryland, and Ryland would never be interested in Alex like this.

Alex didn't think Ryland would be, at any rate.

So he leaned down, and he kissed Leon again, a gentle brush of lips on lips, keeping his mouth where it was.

There was a moment - Leon drew in a shuddering breath - and then Leon was grabbing him by the shoulders, pulling him closer, and Leon was kissing him. 

Leon's back was against the door, and he was kissing Alex, his hands moving down to Alex's hips, holding them in his own hands, squeezing them, and he was sighing into the kiss.

Alex kissed Leon back, pinning the shorter man to the door with his hips, and oh wow, that was a boner, he'd never felt a boner from this side, apart from a few times when he'd been very young and wrestling with friends.

His hands were in Leon's hair, and his tongue was in Leon's mouth, his own knees shaking, chest to chest.

Alex pulled back, staring at Leon with his wide brown eyes, and he licked his lips.

"I'm gonna suck your cock," he told Leon, with some authority, as his hands went to Leon's belt, beginning to unbuckle it.

"Um?"

Leon's hands covered Alex's. 

"Um?" 

Alex blinked down at Leon, his head spinning with the alcohol and the lust that was throbbing through his head like a migraine, although less with the pain and more with the desperate, aching wanting. 

"I don't know... you know, your status. In regards to STIs."

"STIs?" 

"Sexually transmitted infections. You know, herpes, stuff like that."

"Oh," said Alex, and he was trying to make his brain work. 

Right. 

Okay.

"I don't have anything," he said. "I haven't been tested in a long time, but I haven't, you know, done anything in a while either."

"Okay," said Leon. "I don't have anything either."

"So can I blow you?"

"... sure," said Leon, and he laughed, a little self deprecating. "You don't wanna know how long it's been since I've had... you know, intimate contact."

"It's been longer than it has been for me, I guarantee it," said Alex, and then he was... getting on his knees.

He was getting on his knees in the bathroom of his favorite bar, but it was okay, this was a fancy bar.

Almost a trendy bar.

He was unbuckling Leon's pants, and he was pushing Leon's underwear down as well, and there... was a cock.

It was different from all the pussy that Alex had experienced, that was for sure.

... not that Alex had much experience with pussy as of late.

When he had been in the band, there had been a few groupies who were willing to fuck anyone who said they were in a band, but that had dried up pretty quickly.

He'd eaten girls out before, and it couldn't be that different, could it?

He'd have to do something different with his mouth, that was true, but... who didn't like heat and suction and pressure?

Leon was uncut - his foreskin was halfway drawn back, and Alex wasn't sure what to do with that.

Lacking anything else to do, he leaned forward, and he wrapped his mouth around the head of Leon's cock, sucking on it clumsily.

Leon made a desperate noise, and then there was a hand on top of Alex's head, tangling into his hair, and Alex sucked harder

There was salt and musk on his tongue, and Leon's foreskin felt... odd, but he'd heard somewhere that the foreskin was super sensitive, and he didn't want to do anything to mess that up.

He looked up at Leon, in the dim lighting of the bar bathroom, and Leon was shuddering, his other hand covering his own mouth.

"No," Alex said, and he kissed clumsily along Leon's shaft, the way this one girl had done once, that had made his eyes roll back in his head.

"No?"

Leon blinked down at him, his eyes hazy with arousal, sweat turning his bangs darker.

"No, don't... I wanna hear you," Alex said, aware that he sounded like something out of a porno, not sure how to turn that off. 

"I don't want the rest of the bar to know," Leon countered, and Alex rolled his eyes, taking Leon's cock back into his mouth, because he could.

Leon's foreskin was retracting all the way, and it was... the head of Leon's cock was thick and salty in Alex's mouth, and Leon's hand was still grabbing at his hair, as Alex began to bob his head.

He sucked - he sucked like he was sucking on a persistent lollipop, and Leon's hips were rolling forward. 

Alex pressed Leon's hips to the door, his own long fingers pressed against the soft skin, and he was pressing hard enough that Leon was possibly going to be bruised in the morning, but that was going to be okay, this was all going to be okay.

This was great - it was perfect, it was wonderful, and it Alex thought of it like that enough it would be true, right?

The more Alex sucked, the more boneless Leon went, until the other man was almost hanging limply against the door, his head thrown back, his mouth wide open.

Leon was pretty, and Alex could appreciate pretty, and he could appreciate someone being attracted to him - it was nice to know that _someone_ would appreciate him for something, considering all the fucking work he did for Ryland, all the social niceties he helped Ryland deal with, all the work that went into making sure that Ryland didn't piss off literally everyone.

But Leon was... Leon was appreciating Alex's work, Leon was panting and his face was red.

"Alex," Leon panted, "Alex, I'm gonna cum, fuck, Alex, I'm really... I'm close, please... if you don't want me to...."

Fuck it. 

"Fucking do it," said Alex, because it was gross as fuck, but it was... it was proof, wasn't it?

It was proof that Leon wanted him, it was proof that Leon was getting something from him, actual proof that Leon was here, that Alex _existed_ for him. 

Alex wasn't just some annoying thing buzzing around Leon's face - he had made Leon feel good enough to cum. 

And then Leon's cock twitched in Alex's mouth, and a string of salty, bitter cum was shot down Alex's throat, and Alex coughed, pulling off, as a few more strings of it got on his face.

Alex pulled back, blinking and coughing, and Leon was making apologetic noises, reaching over with shaking hands to grab the paper towels and dab at Alex's face.

"Sorry, I don't, uh, it usually -"

"Dude," Alex said, his tone dazed, "I just sucked a dick. Like, an actual dick. Holy fuck."

"Yeah," Leon said, and he smiled, a tad amused. "I was there."

"Did I, like... did I do good?"

"You did pretty good," Leon said, and now they were back to awkward. 

Leon was shooting Alex a nervous smile.

"What could I have done better?"

Alex... Alex needed another drink.

His mouth tasted gross, holy shit.

"Do you want me to fill out a feedback card for you?"

"Could you?"

"You'd have to provide me with one first," Leon said, in a completely earnest tone of voice.

Alex stood up... and staggered, his hands going to Leon's shoulders and clinging.

He leaned down, and he kissed Leon again, because Leon looked like he had soft lips and warm breath.

They kissed each other, and Alex's head spun, and maybe some of that was even from the kiss.

Maybe. 

* * *

Leon helped Alex back to his seat - even bought Alex a soda, to help Alex's mouth taste less like jizz.

"Would you still like me to walk you home?"

Leon was looking Alex over with those big green eyes of him, and Alex was struck with a flash of what it looked like when Leon had cum. 

He flushed.

What would Ryland look like, when he came?

His whole face would probably go all... soft.

He'd read somewhere that someone's face when they sneezed was what they looked like when they cum. 

"What are you thinking about?"

Leon's eyes were still on Alex's face.

"Oh. Um. There's, uh... there's this thing I read, a while ago. That when you sneeze your face does the same thing that it does when you orgasm."

"Really?"

Leon looked interested.

"Yeah," said Alex. "Not that anyone, like, remembers what someone looks like when they sneeze."

"There's probably someone out there that does," Leon said, his expression thoughtful. 

"What, who has a sneeze fetish?"

"Oh, totally, that's a thing," said Leon, with some authority.

"How do you know about that stuff?"

Leon didn't _look_ like the type to have weird fetishes, but then again, he didn't look like the type who'd get a blowjob from some random dude that he'd met in a bar, either. 

... did Alex look like the kind of person who would give a blowjob to some dude he met in a bar?

Alex blushed, looking down at his soda.

"... you wanna walk me home?"

"Sure," said Leon. "As much as you've had to drink, I was gonna offer to call you an Uber."

"Nah, I live close enough to walk," said Alex. "I wouldn't want to go to a bar that I had to take a cab to. That'd be expensive as hell."

"Fair enough," said Leon, as Alex got his wallet out, then shoved his card towards the bartender, still wobbling.

* * *

Alex ended up leaning on Leon pretty heavily, as he staggered his way towards the house he shared with Ryland.

Alex regaled Leon with how wonderful Ryland was, how funny, how sexy, how _interesting_ Ryland was. 

Leon seemed at least somewhat interested - he made interested noises.

When they reached Alex's front door, Alex paused.

"Would you, uh... would you like to come in?"

"It's getting late," Leon said, taking his phone out and squinting at it. "Would you like my number, though? We could... get together some time, maybe I could return the favor."

He was looking up at Alex through his eyelashes, and Alex flushed, looking to the side. 

He kinda had whiskey dick - the vodka was good, but the meat was rotten, as the saying went.

"Put your number in my phone," Alex mumbled, shoving his phone at Leon and leaning heavily on the front fence.

All the lights were off; Ryland never waited up for Alex.

Maybe Ryland had retired to bed.

Maybe he'd taken Ash with him.

Would Ash blow Ryland in the bathroom of a bar?

Probably not.

Maybe Alex needed to tell Ryland about that - about how much fucking _work_ it took, just to... manage him.

No, that wasn't fair.

Alex wasn't being fair. 

Leon smiled at him, nervously.

"Okay," said Leon, as Alex took his phone back, "I'll be going."

"Night," said Alex, and then he realized that maybe he was missing some etiquette thing here.

Was there, like, a gay dude rule for saying goodbye?

Or maybe some kind of kissing thing afterwards?

Alex kissed Leon on the mouth, a wet, warm kiss, and Leon sighed, clutching at Alex's shirt, pressing his forehead against Alex's, his breath warm and steamy against Alex's mouth.

Leon seemed to be appreciating, it at least, and that was the important part, right?

"So I'll be going now," Alex said. "See you again soon?"

"I'd like that," Leon said, and his voice cracked.

He blushed.

"I'd like it too," Alex said, and realized he was blushing.

Welp.

"So, uh, see you later," said Alex, and he disentangled himself, fumbling the door open, then closing it behind him, onto Leon's face.

* * *

Ryland was presumably asleep in his room - the living room was empty and quiet.

Alex's bong had been moved, which was annoying, but whatever.

He stripped his clothes off, pulled his bed out, and he lay flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

He'd actually _sucked_ a _dick_.

He'd had an actual penis in his mouth.

A real live penis, which wasn't his.

Not that he’d ever had his own penis in his mouth, but the idea of it was… something. 

Huh.

That was novel.

* * *

Alex was woken up by Ryland... whistling.

Fucker seemed to be in a good mood - he was clanking around in the kitchen, and it was loud enough to make Alex's head pound.

Alex sat up, slowly, and he rubbed his eyes. 

Everything was too bright, holy fuck.

"You're in a good mood," Alex said, and he kept his tone neutral. 

Or at least, he tried to.

Hopefully it came off as neutral.

His voice was too loud in his ears right now.

"I had a good evening," said Ryland, and he smiled, looking self conscious. 

"That's good," said Alex, and he stood up slowly.

Urgh, his mouth tasted horrible.

He probably needed to get high, to ease the pain of his pounding head.

If he were in a different sort of mindset, he might have commented on the irony of it, or the neverending circular logic of it; he drank to deal with how unhappy he was, so he smoked to deal with the discomfort, which made him uncomfortable, so he drank….

It was an endless cycle, and in his more lucid moments he would even make vague motions towards sobriety.

But fuck it. 

Ryland was in his own world, but he’d made eggs, and he was even making a plate up for Alex.

Wow. 

He must have been feeling pretty generous. 

“I had a good evening,” said Alex. 

He ate his eggs, as Ryland talked about how much fun he’d had with Ash.

“I met someone,” said Alex, because he was beginning to get mad, and he didn’t have the buffer of weed to calm him down.

He’d take a bong hit or two before he did anything stupid, or said anything stupid.

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” said Alex. “I’m… I’m probably gonna see them again soon, too.”

“You found a girl?”

“I mean, I didn’t _find_ anyone, I was at a bar,” said Alex. “There’s a ton of people at bars.”

“Oh, totally,” said Ryland. “I wouldn’t know. I don’t really go to them.”

“You should come with me some time.”

“To the bar? No thanks. I don’t wanna be around all those wet brains.”

Alex pulled a face. 

“You know,” he said, startling himself with his own annoyance, “sometimes people who drink do it, for you know, fun?”

“How is that _fun_? That’s fuckin’ stupid!”

“You know Ryland, just because you don’t get something doesn’t mean it’s stupid,” snapped Alex. 

“Sorry,” said Ryland, and that was… unexpected. 

Alex wasn’t used to Ryland apologizing. 

“It’s fine,” said Alex. 

“Ash was talking about us maybe doing a thing. Us going to a bar. Would you wanna come some time?”

… he would rather chew his own nutsack off than third wheel it up with Ash and Ryland. 

“Sure,” Alex said, and he smiled at Ryland. 

“But, uh, I’m going out today,” said Ryland, and he was smiling now, looking self conscious.

His hair was damp - he must have taken a shower.

“You gonna be out all day, or you wanna get pizza with me tonight?”

“We could get pizza, yeah,” said Ryland. “You wanna do pizza around seven?”

“Yeah, that sounds great,” said Alex. “You wanna go to that one place?”

“What, the one with the weird pizza?” 

Ryland wrinkled his nose.

“Listen, man,” said Alex. “Clam pizza is a gift from the creator itself.”

“Says the Jewish guy,” said Ryland, his tone deadpan.

“Since when do you know about the rules for Judaism?”

“I can remember the basics,” Ryland said, and he laughed. 

Alex snorted. 

“Fair enough,” he said. “So, uh… what are you and Ash planning?”

“Netflix binge at her place,” said Ryland. “She wants to show me that one horror movie she keeps talking about.”

“I thought you hated horror movies,” said Alex. “We bonded over our mutual wussitude.”

“I’m… I’m willing to try,” said Ryland, and he smiled, looking… self conscious, which was unexpected. 

“Would you wanna try watching Lord of the Rings with me some time?”

“One new experience at a time, man,” said Ryland, and he stood up, patting Alex on the shoulder and making his way back towards his room. “I’m gonna get ready to go out, I’ll see ya tonight?”

“Sounds like a good plan, buddy,” said Alex, his heart in his throat.

His phone was buzzing from his spot next to the couch, and he stood up, stretching - his back made a few crackling noises. 

It was a text from Leon.

_How are you feeling? You must have a whopper of a hangover!_

_I’m doing pretty good,_ Alex typed. _Might indulge in some old fashioned Mary Jane to beat the beast._

_I have no idea what you mean by that,_ Leon texted back.

Alex sent a picture of his bong, in his own long fingered hand.

_Oh,_ texted Leon. 

_No better pain reliever!_

_If you say so, man._

Leon sounded… something.

Alex didn’t entirely understand it.

Was he being too clingy?

What was, like, the etiquette for talking to someone after you sucked them off in a bar bathroom?

He took a hit from his bong, and exhaled, his eyes drifting half shut, smoke coming lazily out of his nose. 

He relaxed back into the couch, and was vaguely aware of Ryland making a vague goodbye noise, and then the door was shut, and Alex was by himself.

… why not indulge in some jerking off, since he was in such a state as to enjoy it?

He slid a hand down into his boxers, squeezing his cock, and he seemed to have been cured of whatever whiskey dick he’d been dealing with last night. 

He stroked himself slow, luxurious, and his thoughts slowed to a crawl, as his spit turned to mercury and his thoughts became aware of themselves.

He moaned, deep and low in his throat, and the sound vibrated through his throat, his chest, across his skin, and then he was moaning again, rolling his hips forward, his toes curling on the floor.

What if… what if he had Ryland in his lap?

Ryland fucking… riding his dick, Ryland bouncing on it, Ryland looking at Alex the way he looked at Ash, Ryland kissing Alex with that sweet, hot mouth, big green eyes staring into his own.

… wait, green eyes?

Ryland had brown eyes.

Was he thinking about Leon?

The fuck?

He settled in again, leaning into the sofa, and he came upon another fantasy.

He had _experience_ sucking cock now - he could remember what it felt like on his tongue.

Would Leon be willing to suck him off?

Would that be too weird?

What about fucking Leon?

It’d be good… training, for when Ryland eventually got over Ash and came back to Alex. 

Because Ryland would totally notice eventually, right?

Notice all the hard work that Alex had done.

But oh, Leon would be sweet and hot and tight, clenching around Alex’s dick - he’d ride Alex’s dick like a fucking champion, it would be… it would….

Alex lost his own stoned train of thought, just jerked himself off faster, until his whole body was on edge and his toes were curling, and he was cumming, his whole body on high alert, and he was gloriously aware of it - of every inch of skin, of every piece of him that was tingling and twitching.

Fuck, it was… it was perfect.

He let his mouth fall open, and he panted like he’d been running, blissed out to the point that he could barely remember his own name. 

Who fucking cared about Leon, Ryland, Ash, any of them?

His own body was alive and doing things, and that was all that mattered.

* * * 

Alex came off of his high around five, showered; he even washed his hair, to get the smell of pot out of it. He put on clean clothes, he tidied up the living room, and then he sat with his laptop and noodled around.

He noodled for two hours.

Then for three.

At eight thirty, he glanced at his phone, and shot Ryland a text.

He didn't want to be that person, but... it was late.

_Are we still on for pizza?_

_Shit, I forgot. Sorry!_

Alex groaned. 

_Do you think you could still make it?_

_Ash is kinda sleeping on me. I'm gonna be crashing here tonight, I think. Sorry, buddy._

_It's fine! I hope you guys enjoy yourselves!_

Alex glared at his computer.

Welp.

Hmm.

He eyed his phone thoughtfully, then opened a new text message.

_Hey Leon,_ he typed, _are you doing anything tonight?_

_I was mainly doing some Netflix,_ Leon responded. 

_Wanna come over for some Netflix? I can buy you dinner!_

_Depends what kind of dinner you're offering._

_How do you feel about fancy pizza?_

_What makes it fancy?_

_It has things on it like clams!_

_... this I gotta see. I'll be over in about half an hour. Don't order a pizza without me!_

_I won't!_

Alex's night was looking up, at least.

... why was he so excited?

He'd literally been ditched by Ryland, and now here, here he was, inviting some dude he'd met the night before to his house.

Some dude whose dick he'd sucked the night before.

... shit.

Was this going to be weird?

Would it be coming off as a date or something like that?

_Shit._

Alex sighed, leaning back into the couch, his head tilting back, and he sighed. 

Okay. 

He could do this.

* * *

Leon showed up at Alex's house in a button down shirt and a pair of jeans that looked suspiciously like they'd been ironed. He had a backpack slung over one shoulder

He was smiling up at Alex, his expression nervous.

"Hi," he said. 

"Hi," said Alex.

"It occurred to me," said Leon, as he stepped into the house and kicked his shoes off, dropping his backpack by his shoes, "that you might be an ax murderer and I just came to my death."

"I'm not an ax murderer," said Alex. "Can you imagine these noodle arms being able to lift an ax?"

He flexed for the look of it, and Leon reached over, squeezing Alex's arm.

"You've got some muscle," said Leon.

"Not enough to heft an ax."

"I dunno," said Leon, his expression thoughtful as he sat down on the couch, "I could see you being able to, you know, cleave someone in twain, if you really wanted to."

"I mean," said Alex, "where there's a will, there's a way. How much Lord of the Rings have you been reading, if you can say things like "cleave someone in twain" with a straight face?"

"I never have a straight face," said Leon, his expression and tone completely deadpan. "I'm gay, remember?"

"Oh. Uh, right," said Alex, and he was blushing. "Shit, sorry, I never think before I open my mouth, it's -"

"Alex," Leon said, and he patted Alex on the shoulder, "It's okay." 

He was smiling self consciously. 

"Oh," said Alex.

"It was a bad joke," said Leon, and he smiled at Alex anxiously.

"Oh," said Alex. "I guess yeah, that is kind of a good joke."

"I do my best," Leon said.

Alex snorted.

"So you said fancy pizza?" 

"Right!"

Alex grabbed for his laptop, pulling it into his lap.

Leon was sitting close enough that his thigh was pressed against Alex's. 

It was very warm. 

"So, um, how was your head this morning?"

"It was pretty bad," Alex admitted. "Ryland ended up waking me up when he made breakfast."

"Oh," said Leon. "And Ryland is your...?"

"Best friend," Alex said. "Hetero life partner." He paused then. "Maybe not so hetero."

"Is he, uh... not hetero?"

"I don't know," Alex admitted. "I don't... I mean, um." 

He stared down at the laptop, as the pizza website loaded up. 

"Well," said Leon, "it's okay."

He put a nervous hand on Alex's knee.

Alex impulsively covered Leon's hand with his own. 

"Did you do anything interesting today?"

Leon was clearly trying to change the subject.

"I was gonna go to dinner with Ryland tonight," Alex admitted, "but he's, you know, with Ash."

"Ash is that girl he's been seeing?"

Leon withdrew his hand, resting it in his own lap.

Alex couldn't entirely read whatever it was that Leon's face was doing, but it looked uncomfortable.

"Yeah," said Alex. "I even sobered up for it, could you believe it?"

"I'm okay with that," Leon said. "You're, uh, a lot more personable when you're not drunk."

"I was pretty personable last night," Alex said, and he waggled his eyebrows like a Groucho Marx cartoon, because he could.

Leon snorted.

"Well, yes, but I'd like to at least think that you like me for reasons that aren't just you being drunk and lonely."

... ouch.

"I like you for reasons other than being lonely and drunk," Alex said, his tone defensive. "I'll prove it to you!"

"You don't have to prove anything to me," Leon said quickly. 

But Alex was leaning over, one big hand on Leon's cheek, and he was pressing his mouth to Leon's.

It wasn't like kissing Ryland, but Leon was _here_ , and he was warm and he smelled nice, and Alex wasn't in love with Leon, but... well, not everything in life is about true love and all that. 

He pulled back from Leon, putting the laptop onto the table, then pulling Leon closer.

Leon was letting himself be pulled, into Alex's lap, straddling Alex, and his tongue was hot and wet against Alex's own.

Alex slid his hands under Leon's shirt, up the back, and Leon shuddered against him, almost sobbing.

Leon's hands were holding on to the shoulders of Alex's shirt, twisting them in his fist, and he was shaking, his breath heavy against Alex's.

"Fuck," Alex said thickly. "I should... I should pull the bed back."

"Hm?"

Leon blinked at Alex, his head clearly muddled.

He had an erection in his jeans, and it was pressed against Alex's thigh.

That was an odd sensation. 

This was all such an... unusual situation, and Alex was too damn sober for all of this.

Alex slid his hands down the back of Leon's pants, and he squeezed Leon's ass, which was round and soft and warm under his hands.

God, yes, this was... this was exactly what he wanted. 

"You feel so good," Alex groaned against Leon's mouth, and he held Leon closer, until they were belly to belly, chest to chest, and Alex was shaking, because... he was holding another human being, and he was sober.

Why was he sober?

This would be so much better if they were both drunk.

Or if he was drunk.

Or high.

Or if Leon was high.

Hm.

"Dude," Alex said against Leon's lips, "Dude, you wanna toke up?"

Leon's face did... something that Alex didn't entirely understand 

"Is it okay if we're both sober for this? I'm.. not so good with the drug stuff."

"Oh. Okay."

That... kinda put a dent in the fun, but fuck it. 

Leon was looking straight into Alex's face, and he had stuck his tongue out a bit.

It was... weirdly cute.

Leon flushed, looking away.

"Do you want me to ride your cock?"

Leon's voice was rough, and Alex's own cock twitched. 

"Um," said Alex.

"Or is that too much?"

"No, um, it's not," Alex said. "This is only the second time, I've, you know, done anything with a guy. Especially, you know, a guy I met yesterday."

"Oh, yeah, I understand," said Leon. "I figured, uh... I figured you might be inviting me for some kind of fooling around. Netflix and chill and whatnot."

"Is that what the kids these days are saying?"

"I'm not exactly a kid," said Leon, his expression slightly sardonic.

"How old are you?"

Leon named an age.

"You are more than a _decade_ younger than me," Alex groaned, and he pressed his face into Leon's neck.

"You don't look that old," said Leon, in what he probably thought was a helpful tone of voice. 

"Gee, thanks," Alex said, his tone deadpan. "All that weed I smoke must be keeping me youthful."

Leon snorted.

"Well," said Leon, "I still want to ride your dick, if you'd like me to."

"Of course I'd like you to ride my dick," said Alex, "why wouldn't I?"

"Different comfort levels about that sort of thing," said Leon, which okay, true.

"I'd love for you to ride my dick," Alex said. "Let's... let's fucking do it."

"Would you want to do it... you know, on a bed?"

"This is my bed," said Alex. "I mean, uh, it's a sofa bed - I can pull the bed out if you'd like."

"Nah," said Leon. "It just feels... kind of exposed here. You know?"

He smiled, and his expression was almost nervous.

"Ryland isn't gonna be back for a while yet," Alex assured Leon. "He's spending the night with Ash."

He could actually _feel_ the sour look that crossed his face as he said that.

Wow.

This was why he hated being sober - he turned into a jerk. 

That was why he needed to be stoned all the time, obviously. 

"Oh," said Leon. "Do you have, like, uh... supplies?"

"Supplies?"

"Condoms, lube, gloves?"

"What do I need gloves for?"

"... oh," said Leon. "Okay. Um."

"What's up?"

"We're about to have a slightly awkward conversation," said Leon, and he tucked a piece of curly hair behind his ear. 

"We are?"

"Oh yeah," said Leon. "So okay...."

* * *

Gay sex (did it count as gay sex, if only one participant was gay?) was kinda more complicated than straight sex.

Admittedly, most of Alex's experiences with straight sex had been... fumbling, but had there really been this much _preparation_?

"I... might have expected certain things," said Leon, and he was looking bashful as he grabbed his backpack from by the door, then opened it up.

There was a box of what looked like... latex gloves, a box of condoms, and a bottle of lube.

"You were awfully hopeful," Alex said, trying to sound glib.

Holy shit.

He was about to have sex with someone he had met at a bar. 

Someone who he had actually sucked off the night before.

Holy shit.

"Better safe than sorry," Leon said. 

"Why are you so worried about gloves and whatnot, if you didn't want me to use a condom when I was sucking you off?"

"Well, uh, to be blunt," said Leon, coming back to the couch with his bag, "mouths are a lot cleaner than butts. Even if you clean out your butt."

"... oh," said Alex, and he made a face. 

He hadn't been thinking about that.

"Do you want to, uh... to prep me?"

"How do I do that?"

"You finger me," said Leon. 

He was blushing dark red.

"Oh," said Alex, lacking anything else to say. 

"It's just like fingering a girl," said Leon quickly. "Or at least, fingering a girl's ass, if you've ever done that before."

"I've never done that before," Alex admitted. 

"Really?"

"I've never really... had anal sex, beyond just putting it in someone's ass when we were both kind of drunk," said Alex.

"Oh," said Leon, and his face did that... thing that it kept doing.

Huh. 

Alex would have to ask him about that some time, assuming Leon was actually aware that it was happening. 

"So what do you need me to do?"

"Sit on the couch and put on a glove," Leon instructed. "I can ride your fingers. How's that sound?"

"Sounds pretty good," Alex agreed. 

How hard could it be?

* * * 

Not as hard as his dick.

His dick, which he'd taken out, and he'd taken his shirt off as well, so he was just sitting on his couch, his pants unbuttoned, the wet head of his cock pressed against his belly.

And Leon was riding his fingers, as he curled and uncurled them, as he thrust them gently.

It was only the first two fingers of his left hand, his other hand on Leon's hip, to keep Leon from overbalancing.

"I've been th-thinking about this, since I first... since I first saw you... since I saw your hands," Leon admitted. "They just looked so... fuck, right there, oh _god_!"

Alex twitched his fingers, and Leon's cock twitched as well, drooling down more pre.

"Oh," Leon said heavily. " _Oh_!"

"Does it... does it feel good? Having things in your butt?"

Alex had thought about it, occasionally: he'd read up about the prostate and whatnot, but had always been too timid to try putting anything up there. 

Although the things that Leon's face was doing... it was making Alex have some second thoughts.

Those faces were... impressive.

Who knew that someone could do that, without even touching their fun bits?

Assuming that the fun bits were... well, the dick, balls, etc. 

"Fuck, Alex, oh... oh, Alex, yes, like... _that_ ," Leon gasped, and then he went stock still, his cock still twitching, more fluid drooling down his shaft.

If Alex hadn't known better, he might have thought that Leon was actually cumming. 

But no, there wasn't anything coming out of his dick, just more pre.

Well, Alex assumed that it was pre.

He had a feeling he knew what spunk looked like, at least at this point.

He'd seen his own enough times.

"Are you... are you okay?"

Alex tried to keep the nerves out of his voice.

Leon gave a thumbs up, still shuddering.

His sweaty hands went to Alex's shoulders, and he squeezed them. 

"I... fuck, I don't do that too often," Leon said, and his voice cracked.

"Do what?"

"Have a prostate orgasm," said Leon. "Although, uh, it's been... it's kinda been a while since I, you know, put anything up there."

"Are you... are you supposed to regularly put things up there?"

"You can get out of practice," Leon said, with some authority.

His ass was still clenching and clutching around Alex's fingers. 

"How can you get out of practice with having an orgasm?"

"It takes... you kinda have to know what to do with your body," said Leon. "Like girls and squirting."

"How do you know about girls and squirting? I thought you were gay."

"I can know about sex with women, even if I'm not interested in it," said Leon. "I like... knowing stuff."

He was blushing, and the tip of his tongue was sticking out again.

Alex leaned forward, and he kissed Leon again, taking Leon's tongue into his own mouth.

The head of his cock was rubbing against Leon's thigh, and it was soft and smooth - did Leon not have a lot of body hair, or did he shave?

Leon broke the kiss, and his voice was rough, husky. 

"Do you want to put the condom on, or do you want me to?"

"You do it," Alex said, as he withdrew his fingers, carefully.

He kind of just... held his hand there, not sure what he was doing with it.

"Take the glove off," Leon said, catching Alex's eye. "Turn it inside out, so the gross bits won't touch anything."

"Oh," said Alex. "Right. Of course."

Leon smiled at him, and he was leaning over towards his bag, as Alex withdrew his fingers and wriggled them, getting a bit of the feeling back into them. 

Leon rolled the condom onto Alex's cock carefully, and then drizzled lube on it, and Alex probably should have put a towel down before they got started.

Oh well - this couch had seen worse.

There were probably a bunch of grease stains all over it, and a lube stain looked kind of like a grease stain, if you weren't looking too closely. 

And then Leon was lining himself up, and he was... he was sinking down onto Alex's cock, his eyes on Alex's face, and holy _shit_ , but that was... oh, fuck.

"I'm probably not... not gonna last that long," Alex said, his voice thick. "I haven't actually fucked anyone in a while."

"It's... it's fine," said Leon, and he laughed, a little breathless. "I haven't done this in a while either."

"What, haven't gone to the house of a potential ax murderer who blew you in a bar bathroom the day before?"

Leon laughed, and his ass fluttered in time with his laughter, and that was enough to make Alex's hips stutter forward. 

This fuckin' guy... was laughing while he was being fucked up the ass.

Holy shit.

Alex had to grin in spite of himself, even as the throbbing in his cock began to get stronger, his toes curling into the rug under the couch. 

Leon was tight and hot, and it was... it was everything that Alex needed, that he didn't realize he needed.

He held on to Leon's hips with both hands, and Leon's hands were draped over Alex's shoulder.

Alex paused, looking down at Leon's cock.

"Um," he said, not sure how to word what he was thinking. 

Leon had gone soft. 

"Don't worry about it," Leon said, his voice thick. "It'll... I sometimes, you know, lose an erection, if I'm being penetrated. It doesn't... it doesn't mean I'm not, like, enjoying myself. just... mmm... just my body being weird."

"I have literally no experience with this," Alex said, and he rolled his hips experimentally, as he was squeezed tighter. 

What would it be like, to have Ryland in his lap like this?

It would be equally tight - Ryland looked like someone who never put stuff up his butt.

Ryland was so much heavier, and he was... he would be warmer, softer.

Leon was bordering on bony, even with those curvy hips, and when he wriggled his hips, Leon moaned and sobbed.

God, Ryland would probably be mouthy.

Alex had heard Ryland rubbing one out in the shower a few times, and the guy practically sounded like a fucking porn star. 

"What are you thinking about?"

Alex was snapped out of his reverie, and he looked over at Leon, blinking.

"What?"

"Your eyes are, like, a million miles away," said Leon. "What are you thinking about?"

_I'm thinking about the guy that I'm in love with,_ Alex almost said, but didn't.

His head was starting to hurt.

He needed... he needed a fucking drink.

He needed a drink, and a few hits from his bong, and maybe a long, leisurely fuck.

"You sure you don't wanna toke up?"

Leon rolled his eyes, and he rolled his hips in the same motion, clenching around Alex like a vice.

Alex's own eyes nearly crossed.

"How about we focus on right now?"

"Oh," said Alex thickly, and he tried to plant his feet better, so that he could thrust up easier, his fingers digging into Leon's hips.

"Is that a yes?"

Leon's hands went to Alex's hair, tangling in it, and then Leon was kissing Alex, as Alex fucked him, fucked him hard enough that Leon's cock bounced, and it was hard again, getting harder against Alex's belly.

Alex reached between the two of them, and he squeezed Leon's cock, because even if he felt a bit a bit weird about... well, fucking a dude, it was still good manners to at least try to get the other guy to cum while you were fucking, right?

... until Leon yelped, covering Alex's hand with his own.

"Not so hard," Leon said. 

"Sorry," said Alex. "I've literally only got experience with my own dick."

"How have you not abraded your dick off?!"

Leon looked genuinely worried.

"Aren't you more sensitive because you're... you know, you still have your foreskin?"

"Well, yeah," said Leon, and he was blushing, just a bit. "I never think of it like that, 'cause, you know..."

"Hm?"

Alex rolled his hips again, and Leon groaned like he was in pain, clenching harder, and then Leon's cock was swelling in Alex's hand, as Alex jerked Leon carefully, the way Leon was showing him home to do it.

"Oh, yes, like that, like that, Alex...."

It was kind of hard to remember how to fuck and how to jerk someone off at the same time - would Ryland's cock feel different?

Ryland's cock would probably be bigger - Ryland was just so big in general.

He'd be circumcised as well - Ryland had complained about it, at least once.

But Leon's cock was solid and warm in Alex's hand, and Alex wasn't entirely sure if he found the idea of it in and of itself sexy, but Leon's face in front of his, contorting... that was pretty fucking sexy.

Leon squirming and wriggling like this was about as good as it had been in much too long a time. 

Leon was beginning to gasp, and his chest was turning red from exertion and from pleasure, his cock twitching in Alex's hand. 

"I'm gonna cum," he told Alex, his voice thick. "I'm gonna... I'm gonna cum on your dick, is that what you want?"

"Fuck, yes, cum around my dick, c'mon, do it!"

Alex, barring anything else to do, began to move his fist a little faster, as Leon fucked into Alex's hand, grinding against Alex's dick, and then Alex's cock was being squeezed in a spasming vice, and Alex was gasping, clinging to Leon as Leon's cock spat cum across Alex's belly.

"Oh! Oh, fuck, oh god, Alex...."

Leon was squirming, his hips jerking forward, and he was shaking so hard that Alex was almost worried, except that Alex was still hard, still desperate and throbbing, and he was fucking Leon harder, his eyes sliding shut, and in his lap was Ryland, and maybe it wasn't exactly like Ryland, because Leon was so much smaller, but it was almost there, and it would be something like this, albeit heavier, warmer, more sweaty, but....

"Fuck, Ry!"

Alex came inside of Leon, and his hips jerked forward, his back arching as he shot wad after wad into the condom, inside of Leon.

Only to open his eyes and see Leon giving him a look.

"Really?"

Leon looked angry.

"... what?"

Alex licked his lips.

"I mean," Leon said, his voice flat, "I'm not asking you for a marriage proposal or anything like that, but maybe at least try to get my name straight."

"I mean," said Alex, "it's not like we're going steady or anything."

He'd fucked up on some major level - he could already tell.

How well could he save it was the question. 

Leon pulled himself off of Alex's lap, and he even had the good sense to hold on to the condom, so that it didn't come with him.

"If you're so hung up on your buddy Ryland, why don't you just tell him?"

Leon's voice sounded suspiciously like he was going to start crying.

"Dude," said Alex, "we met yesterday. It's not like there's some big connection or whatever."

"I thought there was _some_ kind of connection," Leon snapped, "but evidently you're looking for a stand in for your friend. Might I suggest you get a fleshlight and a polaroid?"

... ow. 

"That was... unnecessary," Alex grumbled. "I was gonna get you pizza."

"Why don't you get Ryland pizza instead?"

Leon was pulling his pants on, and he was... wow, he looked genuinely angry.

"I was gonna get Ryland pizza," Alex said. "Except - "

"Listen," Leon said, and he was actually leaning forward, close enough that he and Alex were almost nose to nose. "I'm sorry that the guy you're in love with doesn't love you back. Really, I am. That sounds like it sucks."

There were a few tears dripping down his face.

Alex opened his mouth to say something, but Leon covered it with his own hand. 

"I am not your therapy dog, or your guide into the marvelous world of queerness. I am a guy who wanted to get a drink and felt sorry for you. If you want to hang out with me, for the sake of hanging out with me, shoot me a text. Otherwise... have a nice life, Alex."

Leon didn't put his shirt on - just grabbed it, shoved his feet into his shoes, and then he was out the door, as Alex sat on the couch, his cock still in the condom, his head spinning. 

The door slammed behind Leon.

"This is why I don't stay sober," Alex said to the room at large. 

Nobody answered.

* * *

Alex took another shower, because he had spunk on his chest.

He sat on his couch, his whole body still flush and warm from the shower, still remembering the warmth of Leon against him, and he sighed heavily, flopping back against the back of the couch, covering his face with his hands.

He'd fucked up.

He'd... he'd really fucked up. 

And then the doorknob was rattling, and Alex jerked upright. 

Shit. 

Ryland was home early?

And indeed, here came Ryland, looking tired and dejected. 

"Hi," said Alex, looking over his shoulder

"Yo," said Ryland, and he flopped onto the couch next to Alex. 

"Weren't you, uh... going to be spending the evening with Ash?"

“Yeah, she realized she had to do something in the morning,” said Ryland.

He was very clearly pouting.

There was probably more to it; there usually was. 

Alex made a sympathetic noise. 

“You gonna be okay, bud?”

He put a hand on Ryland’s shoulder.

Ryland shot him a grateful look, which was unexpected.

“Yeah,” said Ryland. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, man.”

Alex was glowing from within.

Although it felt a little… hollow.

Huh.

“Thanks,” said Alex. “You wanna order some pizza, watch a movie?”

“That sounds like a good idea,” said Ryland, and he sprawled out on the couch, close enough to almost be touching Alex. 

Alex’s heart was beating very hard.

It really was a good thing that he’d just cum, or he might have been sporting a sizeable boner.

Shit.

Ryland glanced over at Alex, and Alex’s heart sang. 

Ryland really did love him!

* * *

Ryland’s gratitude seemed to last for maybe half an hour.

He scarfed down his pizza, and then he was talking about Ash.

And Alex was making vague “I’m listening” noises.

It seemed that Ryland had said something bone headed, and Ash had gotten mad at him and kicked him out.

“You think she’ll forgive me?”

Ryland’s tone was plaintive.

“Oh, totally,” said Alex. “You’re a great guy. A great catch.”

“You really think so?”

“Oh, totally,” said Alex. 

“It must be so easy for you, man,” said Ryland. 

“Hm?”

“You’ve got it so easy,” Ryland said. “You don’t seem to piss people off ever, all you need to worry about is, like, getting high, getting drunk.”

“Plus our games,” Alex pointed out, although… ye gods. 

That stung.

Ryland was being more of a jerk than usual.

“Well, yeah, but you don’t have to worry about, like… interpersonal conflicts,” said Ryland. “You just get on with everyone. It must be so easy.”

“Yeah,” Alex said, his voice flat. “Easy.”

Ryland seemed to miss the hurt in Alex’s voice; he leaned forward, taking a bite of his pizza. 

“I need to be more like you,” said Ryland.

_Fucking random strangers you met at a bar, then pissing them off,_ Alex almost said, but he kept his mouth shut.

“I’ll be right back,” Alex said, and he made his way towards the bathroom, clutching his phone in one hand. 

* * * 

Alex sat on the toilet, his elbows on his thighs, and he texted Leon.

_I was a jerk. I’m sorry._

_Thank you for the apology._

… ouch. 

Admittedly, Alex probably deserved it. 

_Would you want to get coffee on Friday? I’d like to make it up to you._

_What kinda coffee are we talking about? Is this going to end up in something sexual again?_

_I’m not gonna treat you like a booty call or a butt dial or whatever it is that the kids call it these days._

He got a selfie with a raised eyebrow, and he had to bite back a snicker; Leon’s expression was downright sardonic. 

_But yeah. We can keep our clothes on and everything. I feel like it’s bad form to have had my dick up your ass and still not know your favorite color._

_Is knowing my favorite color some vital part of your seduction?_

_It might be. Don’t wanna give away all of my secrets._

_Can you be sober when we do coffee, please?_

Alex rolled his eyes, but he sighed.

He had been a jerk.

He could could concede to that, at the very least.

_You got it. What time do you want to meet?_

_Three?_

_Where?_

Leon named a coffee shop that Alex had never heard of.

… not that Alex knew a lot of coffee shops, but still. 

_I’ll see ya then!_

_Looking forward to it!_

* * *

Alex, his step a tad lighter made his way back to the couch.

Ryland was passed out, his head against the back of the couch, snoring. 

Alex smiled a bit in spite of himself.

He wanted to reach out and cup Ryland’s cheek, but maybe that would be weird.

Maybe he’d tell Ryland about Leon. 

They could… do a double date.

Or something.

But… this fuckin’ guy, he was already cuddling towards the warmth of Alex, as Alex sat back on the couch, and Alex sighed.

This fuckin’ guy. 

What was Alex going to do with him?

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic?
> 
> Want me to write you something similar, or something completely different?
> 
> Come talk to me on my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com!


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